Bollywood is definitely a great place and I can’t see myself being anywhere else. Being born to a family associated with movies, I learnt the basics at an early age… And knowledge must be spread.

So here it is… The tongue-in-cheek A to Z of the Bollywood Alphabet as I know it… Some of it may be relevant… Most of it may not… But go through it anyway…

A  for AMITABH BACHCHAN – The undisputed King of Bollywood

B  for BALLS – which some have… some pretend to… and some don’t at all…

C  for CRITICS – who aren’t always qualified but never disqualified!

D  for DIRECTOR – who everyone assumes knows what he is doing.

E  for EGO – which is plenty in the industry but seldom helps.

F  for ******* – Lets not go there… I’ll need more than a column to divulge those details…

G  for GOSSIP – which everyone contributes to yet no one owns up to…

H  for HISTORY – Which if you don’t make it… You are it…

I  for INTERNATIONAL – which everyone has gone but ‘they’ still aren’t aware…

J  for JACK OF ALL TRADES – that would undoubtedly be me…

K  for KAREENA AND KATRINA – who have beauty, brains and blockbusters…

L  for LUST – which most often is mistaken for the other four-letter word beginning with ‘L’…

M  for MOTHER – an element that never goes wrong in movies…

N  for NEW AGE – A word often thrown at the mainstream to give it a complex…

O  for ORGANISATION – An alien concept in most quarters…

P  for PAPARAZZI AND PR – The latest entrants in Bollywood… Celebrities are fashionably in denial about them but   cant do a day without them…

Q for QUEENS – A lot of them around ruling the roost…

R  for RAT RACE – Even if you win you are still a rat… Just a well-paid one!

S  for SHAH RUKH KHAN – Sorry couldn’t resist that one…

T  for TWITTER – where everyone’s talking and no one’s listening

U  for UNIVERSAL HIT – Full page ads proclaim this every Friday… ‘Proclaim’ being the operative word…

W  for WANNABE – a virus that has no vaccination…

X  for ‘EX FACTOR’ – which rules the industry… Everywhere you turn there’s an ex!

Y  for YES MEN – who everyone has around them just to feel ‘objective’…

Z  for Zzzzzzz – a sound I’m hoping you guys aren’t making right now!