People have preconceived notions about who lesbians are, what lesbians look like, who lesbians are attracted to and who lesbians want to be. Let’s take a look at these myths about lesbians and shine some light on the facts.

1. All Lesbians Hate Men
Fact: Just because lesbians are sexually and emotionally attracted to women, does not mean they hate or even dislike men. In fact, many lesbians love men.

2. Lesbians (especially butch lesbians) want to be men
Fact: Lesbians who’s appearances are more androgynous or masculine do so because that is how they feel comfortable. The fact is, there is a diversity of gender expression among all women (and men) no matter what their sexual orientation. People who want to change their sex are called transsexual.

3. You Can’t Know if You’re a Lesbian Unless You Sleep with a Woman
Fact: Just as heterosexual people can know they are straight without ever having sex, lesbians too can know they are attracted to women without ever having to sleep with one. Coming out is a process and there is not “quick” way to figure out if you are indeed a lesbian or not.

4. Lesbians are attracted to all women
Fact: Just because someone is a lesbian does not mean she’s going to hit on you or be attracted to you.

5. Being a Lesbian is a choice and can be changed
Fact: More and more studies are discovering evidence that sexual orientation is not something that one chooses, rather it is an inborn trait, found not only in humans, but in most animals species. Contrary to what the religious right preaches, counseling to “make someone straight” just doesn’t work.

6. Lesbian Relationships are all about sex
Fact: Sure lesbians have sex, but like heterosexual relationships, sex is not all there is to lesbian relationships. Lesbians connect with each other on an emotional and spiritual level and if they’re lucky, have great sex too. Like straight people, lesbians create families and have children (or choose not to.)

7. Lesbians just haven’t met the right man yet
Fact: Many lesbians haven’t met the right woman yet, but meeting a man has nothing to do with it.

8. You Can Tell a Lesbian by how she looks
Fact: Lesbians and gay men claim to have something called “gaydar”, which is really just an intuition about whether or not someone is gay. Gaydar isn’t right all of the time and since many people still live in the closet, there’s no way to tell for sure if someone is a lesbian. Unless she tells you, of course.

9. One Lesbian in a relationship has to be “the man”
Fact: Although some lesbian couples are butch/femme, both are clearly women. Neither wants to be a man nor acts like a man. And butch/femme is not the only type of lesbian relationship. Femmes and butches can be paired together, or more likely, both women don’t claim any butch or femme label.

10. Lesbians and Gays Can’t be Spiritual
Fact: Some religions may consider homosexuality a sin, but many churches, including many Christian churches, welcome and accept all people just the way god created them.