No matter if you’re intimidated, frustrated, or at ease with your mother-in-law, she’s a very important member of your family, and it’s a good idea to foster a positive relationship with her. Here are a few tips to help you foster a healthy and peaceful family environment:

Reach out to her: Having someone enter your home and start telling you how to live can be irritating, but maybe she really just wants to help. Reach out to your mother-in-law. Ask her opinion—perhaps on issues where you are willing to be flexible—and respect it. Remember, respecting someone’s opinion and agreeing with it are two entirely different things.

Ask for advice: While you know your mother-in-law will be offering up tons of advice during your meeting, you may be able to prevent some of the unwanted comments and make her feel valued by asking for her advice before she offers it. Ask her advice as soon as you see her, She will be disarmed by your charm and feel special, not to mention, needed.

Never forget your authority: It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking like a child when around your mother-in-law. Don’t forget that you are an adult with rights to disagree and do things your way. When the situation calls for it, take a firm position, especially when your partner fails to draw the line with his mother. You’ll have to draw that line yourself.

Thank her: Even if you get annoyed with her sometimes, she did at least one thing right—raised your husband! Whenever she offers advice or tries to help you, calmly thank her for her opinion, even if you do not agree. It is completely possible to disagree and still have a loving relationship.

Be objective: Your own view of life and how people treat you can be seriously affected by the position you hold in the family. Take a few moments to examine the situation from your mother-in-law’s point of view. Does she have viable opinion? Are her criticisms coming from her love of you and her son? Answering these questions can help you learn to relate with your mother-in-law better.

Don’t expect the worst: It can be unnerving to spend time with your mother-in-law if she has a history of insulting you or creating awkward situations. However, it can be equally detrimental to go into a situation expecting her to attack. This sort of mentality can make you want to “say something to bring it on”. Instead, clear your mind of bad expectations.

Having a mother-in-law who thinks she knows everything can be daunting at best to deal with. However, with a bit more insight and a few strategies you can diffuse the awkwardness and go on to maybe even enjoy your family get-togethers.